SLEEP TIME IS NOW
SWEET DREAMS HUMAN
I WILL BE HERE, SHARING MY WARMTHS
I GOOD DOG
I KEEP MY HUMAN SAFE
the second one? i can buy that somewhat. the first one? breasts are sexual organs.
I SWEAR TO FUCK. NO. NO THEY ARE NOT. BREASTS ARE MEANT TO FEED BABIES. BREASTS ARE NOT MEANT FOR SEXUAL FUCKING PLEASURE. BREASTS SOLE EVOLUTIONARY PURPOSE ARE TO FEED THE YOUNG, NOT TO HUMOUR MEN IN BED.
this is alex with the cookies i made him. he was so happy :) i love him so much
My thighs are huge cuz they’re full of secrets
Wrap them around my ears and let me hear them all
You smooth motherfucker
when none of ur internet friends are online
you know if i was a young boy and my father took me into the city to see a marching band i would actually be pretty pissed if he said son when you grow up would you be the savior of the broken the beaten and the damned like dad im trying to enjoy this parade can we talk about this later jesus christ
hair is not permanent. baths will make u sleepy and so will lotion. if u aren’t up for school don’t fucking go. u don’t need to explain urself. it’s ok to give in to societies expectations sometimes. girl sweat is a gift from whatever the fuck u believe in. just bcause u can,doesn’t mean u should. bring food with u everywhere and don’t hesitate to eat it. ur aren’t as bloated as u think u r. write things on ur hands.
More fun facts about ancient Celtic marriage laws: There were no laws against interclass or interracial marriage, no laws against open homosexual relationships (although they weren’t considered ‘marriages’ since the definition of a marriage was ‘couple with child’), no requirement for women to take their husband’s names or give up their property, but comedians couldn’t get married
It’s Adam and Eve not Adam Sandler and Eve
I’ve got a joke: What walks on 8 legs until it’s one year old, 4 legs until its twenty years old, and then 2 legs for the remainder of it’s life?
WHY WOULD YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT PLEASE IF THIS IS A JOKE IT’S NOT FUNNY
YOU FUCKING BASTARD WHY
YOU ARE HORRIBLE
WHAT Kind of person does this?!?!?!!
That moment when you’re reading a fic and your OTP finally hooks up
That gif is literally perfect
how to tell i am comfortable talking to you:
- i say things that make zero sense
- i say the random things that come to mind
- i act like a complete idiot when talking to you
- i use dumb emoticons
punk: rebelling against authority
pop punk: rebelling against your parents because they won’t drive you to hot topic with your friends